Splat!

Arrogant Boy
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

Billy couldn’t read or write
He never read a book in his life
He looked like shit
Face didn’t fit
And only ever went out at night

Billy got invited to parties
He’d always dress to annoy
Billy fancied his chances
And they called him an arrogant boy

Billy had a special trick
He knew what made the punters tick
Freakin’ the elite
To a fit of pique
Good old Billy lived by his wits

Billy didn’t have a choice
Got buried underneath the noise
He took a deep brеath
Found his voice
And they called him an arrogant boy

Oh, Billy
Oh, Billy
Oh, what havе you done?
Oh, Billy, what have you done?

[Instrumental Break]

Well, Billy gonna take on the world
Now he’s getting hard to destroy
He gave us strength
And now we’re walking
In the path of an arrogant boy

Billy lived his life in the dirt
Didn’t really give a squirt
He’d be standing there
Head in the air
Well, Billy, salt of the earth

Billy used to dream all day
How to get there in his own sweet way
He took his time
And then enjoyed
The reputation of an arrogant boy
Oh, an arrogant boy

Diablo
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

My lover crossed the river
And that’s the route she chose
Heard you can get anything you want
When you go where anything goes
She made her way to Diablo
The most dangerous place on Earth
But my girl didn’t care too much about that
She was there to prove her worth

She jumped into the fighting pit
Her knuckles pickled in brine
Beat up Guts Mackenzie
Celebrated with a bucket of wine
She fell into the glitter pool
Got whisky in her ear
In the nick of time was rescued
By a passing gondolier

For once in your life
Why don’t you
Throw away all of those plans
Hands over your eyes
Leap out of the fire
Into the pan

My lover came back home
With two sore tits and a gappy-tooth smile
Displayed her belt in the hardware store
Told the story of her trial
If you ever go to Diablo
In the lower depths of Hell
And live your life in one short week
And return with a tale to tell

Whoo, yeah-yeah
Aw-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-ah-bow-bow

The Rider
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I live a life
Of outrageous extravagance
From way up here
Show my talent and elegance
I have some weird peccadillos
Stick ’em on the rider

When I arrive
I want some heelclickers
After my doughnut
A couple of liplickers
Moisturise them both
Then slap ’em on the rider

We is me
I’ll let you know when I’m ready to sing
I can’t exist
Can’t do my thing

Without a brace of
Super hot psycho-ologists
Cover my back
With a sincere apologist
And where’s the [DCM?]
I know I wrote it in the rider

Take me up in a
Private elevator
And don’t forget to booked a
Bliss appropriator
What happened to the last guy
Check it in the rider

Woe is me
You’ll never know when I’m ready to sing
I can’t exist
Can’t do my thing

Keep ’em waiting
While I prefer to stay
Catch a live performance
Just for me Cirque du Soleil

Woe is me
I’ll let you know
When I’m ready to sing
I can’t exist
Can’t do my thing

Don’t call me precious
Priceless is just fine
I’m worth even more
In this here swollen head of mine

Before I dance get my
Poddy-Macologist
I got bumps now
Where’s my phrenologist
I’m off to the funny farm
It’s all there in the rider

The Lunatic
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

There was a time I liked him
Now I don’t know what to say
When I see him coming
I just look the other way
Ah, he’s dangerous
There’s a sparkle in his eyes
When they should be dull and grey
Oh

He’s got an air of confidence
Goes out on his own
Has very few friends
And doesn’t use a phone
Ah, mysterious
Thank God the law is watching
Now they’ll drag him from his home
Oh, oh

Once he was a lovely lad
Compliant and tame
Something must have happened
To turn him insane
He lost his way
And now we’s full-grown
He’s a lnatic
With a mind of his own

It’s not as if he barks
Under a waxing gibbus moon
It’s another kind of madness
Same old words a different tune
Ah, it’s scary
Not long before the ministry
Is bursting his balloon
Oh, oh

The Only Horse In Town
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I have the presidential suite
In Joe’s motel over there
Joe’s long gone incident’ly
Along with everyone else
Even the gypsies have left
With everything they could carry of course
They took all they need
Except for a clapped-out, knock-kneed
Bony old horse

Now I”ve got the place to myself
I stand and look around
AT this home that feel from the sky for me
And the only horse in town

So I look at the horse
And he looks at me
I can tell we have an understanding
Almost immediately
We have been through the mill
Last few eyars have been grinding uphill
Now we found some hay in the barn
And pure clean water down in the well

Now the cold wind’s blowing somewhere else
We be safe and sound
In the last place on the earth for me
And the only horse in town

We got nothing to hang on th ewall
And that’s better than nothing at all

I’m in the bar contemplating
And he’s outside at the rail
Simply waiting
And swishing his tail
We don’t need anymore
Tell the truth that was always the case
But now we live in a world of our own
We can do what we want
At our own sweet pace

And now there’s no more misery
We’re close to the ground
What a life of luxury for me
And the only horse in town

Yes I have a home to call my own
I stand and look around
It’s the last place on earth for me
And the only horse in town

Sacred Land
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I pished into the mist
And saw two gnarled and craggy men
They were battle scarred and weary
They’ll never fight again
Once raw and bitter enemies
These fearsome highland lords
They’ve done with all the feuding
And put away their swords

A holy stone
On sacred land
A legend in the Glen of Creag and Turc

They placed their weapons
On the ground
And set them softly in the moss
One upon the other
Chipped and laid across
The futile bloody memories
Of all O’ that and more
Those brave and ancient clansmen
Had done with making war

A holy stone
On sacred land
Buried the Glen of Creag and Turc

In the day
It was man to man
Eye to eye
And hand to hand
Die with honour
Or live with heart
Every man
Stood up to play his part

A skirling whiff of danger
Brought a glint into their eyes
Marauders and intruders
The old men slowly rise
With claymores at the ready
They’ll no’ be having that
Once again they will be fighting
But now it’s back-to-back

A holy stone
On sacred land
Forever in the Glen of Creag and Turc

The Beating Of Wings
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I sit alone
In the night
And I know
It’s gonna be all right
When the morning hurries shadows away
From the sky
Hen the rays keeps my demons at bay
I sit and wait
In the dark
And I say to me
Here comes the best part
It’s a new day
It’s a new day

Then I follow the light
And the heavenly voice
Of my angel sings
Now I’m feeling the dawn of her pulse
And I rise to the beating of wings

I’m looking up
At the nightscape
As the stars
Begin to fade
It takes only one
Only one
To put all the rest
In the shade
Only one
Only one

I’ll be wondering where
You’ll be sleeping tonight
Way out there in Saturnian rings
I’ll be losing my way once again
’til I rise to the beating of wings

In the candle’s flickering light
I can see so clearly
All the dreams that might come true
And if not true then nearly

Then I follow the light
And the heavenly voice
As my angel sings
Now I’m feeling the dawn of her pulse
And I rise to the beating of wings

I’ll be wondering where
You’ll be sleeping tonight
Way out there in Saturnian rings
I’ll be losing my way once again
’til I rise to the beating of wings

Guilt Trippin’
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I had a quarter million
O’ the most fabulous years
It took most of my life
For me to find the right gear
And now we’re celebrating
To a sudden halt
We got terminal velocity
And it’s all my fault

Oh dearie me
It’s a crying shame
I’m guilt trippin’
In the outside lane

I did what I could
I tried to slam on the brakes
Couldn’t find the strength
Didn’t have what it takes
I hear thunder
An avalanche wall
Apologise
It’s all my fault

Oh what a shame
If only I’d known
I’m guilt trippin’
On the last train home

They say two’s company
And eight billion’s a crowd
I’ll get it right next time
But it’s too late now
All those locusts
Famine and war
You never slept at night
And it’s all my fault

Jessica’s Bra
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

Welcome to the hallowed inner circles O’ JEssica’s bra
Since you’re askin’ that’s a typo on a sign above the bar
Big Mary is a wrestlin’ with her conscience and a toe
She’s a champion at both, a flick of her hips and over you go
There’s a fella in the corner sippin’ water through a straw
We’ll keep an eye on him, just to be absolutely sure

It’s somewhere to escape from the unpleasantries of life
A chance to get away from all the trouble and the strife
Nelson’s falling over whilst he’s lying down
We all respect his talent so we’ll leave him there for now
And the fella in the corner sippin’ water through a straw
He’s completely motionless, what the hell’s he waiting for

Mr. Bland’s an issue solver from the ministry of grey
Commisioned by a caring team to turn up every day
We’re helping with the gravity, make sure it never fails
With bawdy camaraderie and flagons of tumbling ale

A tweedy bird from Berkshire is looking for some rough
She sidles up to Baily who is more than rough enough
And now the vicar’s daughter doing hand-stands up the wall
The boys reach out to grab her before she takes a fall

And if you want to know what happened to the funny little fella
He’s being educated at a session in the cellar
And if you’re still a’wondrin’ where on Earth you are
Tell your friends you’re having the time of your life . . . in Jessica’s Bra
In Jessica’s Bra

Scribblin’ Gib’rish
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I haven’t got a clue
What you’ve been talkin’ about
Your lips move
But I hear cobbledegook
Don’t have a notion what you saying
You one o’ them
Sesquipedalians

I’m scriblin’ gib’rish
Back at you
Nothing by gib’rish
If only you know

Another crappy matrix
I can’t understand
I’ll prove I’m human
Show you I’m a man
Can’t see those traffic lights
Greasy bikes or steps
Any more of that and I will
Wring your bloody neck

I’m scriblin’ Gib’rish
Just for you
Nothing but gib’rish
Snookerakacho

I’m a sophisticated man
With the emphasis on fist
Here’s your final warning
To cease and desist
Go wash your mouth
You are speaking in tongues
Now you’re talking turkey
I ain’t getting any younger

I’m scriblin’ gib’rish
Just for you
Nothing but gib’rish
If only you know

Hoosanackamackeral
Schwanamagoo
Bend over backwards
Until it turns blue

Third Call
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

You got me on the third call
I wasn’t going to answer at all
But I guessed it was you
So it didn’t ring true
Hmmmmm
You know I was curious
And kinda nervous too
It was quiet at first
Then you said a few words
Something I heard
In the breath of your voice
And then I had no choice

Girl right away I knew
As I soaked up the essence of you
Should have been impossible
But there it was a full
And total surrender
I lost my mind again
How easily you muddy my brain
You know what they say
It’s never the same
The last time was nothing but
Pleasure and pain
Remind myself of one little thing
I’m gonna melt
You’re so damed hot
Baby you don’t know what you got

So you got me on the third call
We know it’s puresly physical
There’s no time for subtle
It’s all sweat and muscle
We’ll be together
Forever and oh well

Then we go our own ways
Not so much as a parting wave
Our love is on hold
Until the next call
Forget the first two
Because just like you
I don’t have much to talk about
All we do is scream and shout
All we do is scream and shout

My New Movie
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

What you doing Wednesday
If you’ve got nothing on
Drop by and we’ll start working on a plot
Just take a look around
Use your imagination
It’s easy to improve
On what we got

I got a half-written script
Catering and lights
A shed-load of cameras and a crew
I got costumes, make-u and a double-wide trailer
Now all I really need is you

All right, you know I’m on fire
You wanna be in
My new movie
I’ll be great piece of work
My new movie
We’ll make the sequel first
It can only get worse

You are notorious
For battering down doors
Charging upstream against the trend
But that’s what I want
It’s gonna be rough in the making
But man, we gonna get there in the end

I’m gonna screw all the rules
Break with convention
Shake it watch it bear fruit
With a jaw dropping, mind blowing
Mother of a movie
Man we getting ready to shoot

C’mon baby
You wanna be in
My incredible new movie
I need quiet on the set
My new movie
You wanna place your bets
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet

Well
My new movie
We gonna stop the world
My incredible new movie
We gonna give it a whirl

My new movie
Gonna be a blast
My new movie
The image will last
Forever

Splat!
(Airey, Gillan, Glover, McBride, Paice)

I lit up the wrong end
Set my rocket in reverse
It blasted a hole
Thru the centre of the universe
I had a good spin around
In a sycamore plane
Nothing much to see out here ‘cept
A whole lotta more o’ the same
Oops

Well that’s enough o’ that
We’ll be standing here all day
Let the cat out the bag
All kindsa hell to pay
Movin’ along
Running easy and free
Back in the groove
Dontcha worry ’bout me
I’m gonna bark up another tree
Oops

I look into the future as we
Splat against the screen
It’s better than I hoped
And up to now was unforseen
A metamorphosis
I’m hopin for much more of this
And maybe somethin’ funky
In between

I look into the future
As we splat against the wall
Leave this all behind and soon
We won’t be here at all
We goin’ metaphysical
Whimsical and spiritual
Won’t need that sycamore no more